When is it appropriate for kids to get a cell phone? I have an 11 year old, and I would say that it is now approaching 50% of his class that has one. He has my old iPhone, but it is not hooked up to a phone number, so it basically works as an iPod touch. He does have a texting app and has about 7 or 8 people he texts, most of which are family. My thoughts are more like 13 years old is appropriate, but I foresee that becoming more and more difficult as more of his friends get them. I know I tend to be conservative on these kind of things. The question is am I appropriately conservative, or ridiculously? I just frequently go back to wondering what do you give them when they are teenagers if you give them phones now? We give so much so young, what do they have left to anticipate/look forward to? What do you think is appropriate?
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To hear our kids sometimes, Greg and I don't let them have anything! I've had this discussion with Mary (when she was 7!) and she was told two things: 1) There is no reason for you to have a cell phone until you are old enough and responsible enough to both take proper care of it and to be somewhere without the direct supervision of me, Dad or another trusted adult, and 2) If and when you are provided a cell phone to use in such situations, it is just that - a borrowed phone. Until you are an adult and are no longer dependent on us, we reserve the right to monitor and restrict any phone use by our children. Yes, we are all up in your business... get used to it and know that it is only because we love you.
ReplyDeleteI personally don't think that there is reason for a child to have unfettered use of a cell phone - the only exception that comes to mind is one who drives on a regular basis. Of course, there are always exceptions, and as soon as I set a hard and fast rule I will be forced to break it.
I do, however, think that many parents today give their children too much in the way of material possessions and freedom at too young of an age, and that these are often given not based on accountability and responsibility but out of a sense of obligation. Once you get pushed outside the bubble that is your child's super-secret life it is so hard to get back in, and I'm willing to be the bad guy now for their long-term benefit.
I hated that my Mom demanded to know where I was going, with whom and all of the gory details, but looking back I am glad that she did. I'm also glad that we were expected to stay out of trouble, maintain good grades, and respect adults to keep the privileges we earned - she was a real pain in my teenage rear, but as an adult I appreciate both the things that are given to me and those that I earn, I understand the value of hard work and realize that people are what matter - not things.
It's so hard. You don't want your kid to feel like they are the ONLY one is class without a cell phone but really, there is just NO reason for a child to have their own cell phone until they are going places where there arent other adults around.
ReplyDeleteWow Lauren! I love this: "Yes, we are all up in your business... get used to it and know that it is only because we love you." I may have to memorize that and use it later. A lot!
ReplyDeleteDara will be getting one on her 11th birthday, she has also been asking since she was 7. However, she will not have any type of unlimited plan for calls or texts and every bit of her activity will be monitored. I am also tempted to pay for the GPS service so we can locate her at any point in time. More than 50% of her class has one now also. There have been several occasions when I really wished she would've had a phone on her so I could get in touch with her faster. I'm not sure I have much along the lines of a justification on why it is a good idea or isn't a good idea. It's just what we've decided for her and our family.
ReplyDeleteWOW Lauren! Couldn't have said it better if I tried!
ReplyDeleteI just can't see any reason Logan needs a cell phone. All of his friends have iphones... hahaha yeah.... NO! I tell him he can have a phone when he starts driving. I'm not into giving him something just because every other kid has it. My mom's favorite saying was "If I give you everything now, what will you have to look forward to later in life>" I hated every time she said it but it's true. Kids get everything now & appreicate NOTHING. I'd like to think I'm instilling some kind of something into my kids...
Michelle, is Dara asking for a phone? I'm curious if you are finding that there is a lot of pressure to have one. Jacob has asked when he can have one, but luckily he hasn't pursued it any further than that. I do have and extra cell that is hooked up that I use on those occasions that I want to be able to reach him. It is one I sometimes use for work. I will, for example, have him carry it with him while he runs around at our church fair. Also, Apple will give you a 90 day free trial on mobile me (the phone tracker portion only). It works amazingly if you want to check it out. That, in my opinion, is a must for teenage years!!!
ReplyDeleteI got my 12 year old a phone when her father moved back to town. She was going to start visiting on a more regular basis and I wanted her to feel that she could contact me at ANY time should she need to. She is also very involved in school clubs and gymnastics/dance so I felt it necessary for her to have the ability to call me since I would not be with her most of the time. There have be instances that someone forgot to pick her up from practice, or a function finished earlier than expected, and she was able to call me for a ride.
ReplyDeleteShe started asking me about the phone was she was 10, I believe, saying "everyone" had one and she was the "only" one that didn't. An overstatement, yes, but not too far from the truth. I'd probably say at least 50%. My original intent was to wait until high school but her father relocating stepped up my plans a bit.
Now, I will tell you, she got the most basic phone available. No camera, no qwerty key. It was a phone... to make phone calls... in an emergency. She doesn't like her dinosaur, but it's practical and serves a purpose.