another soccer mom: Inappropriate marketing for little girls

another soccer mom: Inappropriate marketing for little girls: "I'm sure you heard about Abercrombie marketing padded bathing suits to girls as young as 7 recently. After intense fallout, they are now say..."

Inappropriate marketing for little girls

I'm sure you heard about Abercrombie marketing padded bathing suits to girls as young as 7 recently. After intense fallout, they are now saying that the suit is better suited for girls 12 and older.
http://www.dispatch.com/live/content/business/stories/2011/03/29/abercrombies-padded-bikini-for-preteens-stirs-up-fuss.html?sid=101
Also, I recently had another parent point out the Victoria's Secret Pink line. We have all seen and probably purchased things from this line for ourselves. Take a look at the panties now. Look at the bright colors, prints and phrases on them. They have things like "I 'heart' boys", "must have", "come visit soon", "yes", "take it off", "can't get enough", and "available" written on them. http://www.victoriassecret.com/panties/victorias-secret-pink
These things are clearly targeting teens. I don't know of many grown women that use the word "boy" in reference to who they date. I read this article and tend to agree with most of it. http://www.americandecency.org/archives/victorias-secret-teaching-girls-and-women-to-degrade-themselves/

I do not, at all, consider myself prudish. I just wonder why these things need to target girls that are CLEARLY much younger than is appropriate. Why are they trying to sexualize girls at younger and younger ages? It is NOT okay for little girls to be sexy! They are kids!!!

That is my rant. What do you think?

another soccer mom: Girl Bullying II

another soccer mom: Girl Bullying II: "Thanks for all of the feedback regarding my 'girl bullying' post. It had more pageviews by far, than any other of my posts. Apparently ..."

Girl Bullying II

Thanks for all of the feedback regarding my "girl bullying" post. It had more pageviews by far, than any other of my posts. Apparently  I am not alone in my concerns and experiences. To update, I talked to the parents that we tend to hang out with most often, and they all seemed to share my views. They plan to talk to their girls and continue to reinforce positive behavior. The parents of Leah's 4 closest friends were on the same page. We have started letting each other know when we witness something ugly between the girls. We also have started addressing them immediately (whether they are ours or not) when we see this type of behavior. For the most part, all of the parents of her closest friends seem to be on board, with the exception of one father. He is not necessarily opposed to correcting them. He just thinks it is ridiculous to bother each other every time his daughter complains that someone was mean to her. I completely see where he is coming from. You don't want to reinforce tattling or whining, but as a mother, I REALLY want to know when my daughter is ugly, so I can address it. I just feel like the more we address it, the better and more quickly they will learn.

As a woman with an amazing circle of female friends, I feel strongly about the love and support we get from other women. My girlfriends have my back no matter what. If someone was messing with me, they would have about 8 fired up women in full out b*#%h mode on their behinds! I know that I can share anything with them without judgement. I also know that they will always be honest with me whether or not they agree with me. I know that if ever I am down and  need to be picked up, they would all be in line to help, day or night. When we get together we laugh until our faces hurt. When we need to cry, someone will cry with us.

Women need each other. We need others who understand us as mothers, as wives, as workers and as friends. We should not be tearing one another down at any age.

I want my daughter and all of her friends to know that in time, boys will come and go. Hearts will be broken. There will be teams that they don't make,tests that they fail, rejection in all shapes and sizes. These are the people who will see them through those times. Just like my friends are a rock for me, so will they be for each other. I firmly believe that it is not too early for them to learn and understand these things and I am committed to instilling it in my daughter.

another soccer mom: Girl Bullying

another soccer mom: Girl Bullying: "When I say 'girl bullying' I am referring to the mental torture that girls seem to inflict on each other. You typically think of bullying as..."

Girl Bullying

When I say "girl bullying" I am referring to the mental torture that girls seem to inflict on each other. You typically think of bullying as a physical act usually perpetrated by boys, but isn't the meanness that girls partake in just as much a form of bullying? Which of you can't remember a time that you were singled out as a child and made fun of, picked on, or were just deliberately left out or ignored? I can remember 3rd grade, and even high school being torture for me. I can already see my daughter experiencing touches of this, mostly from some of her closest friends. Friends that she loves, and I am certain love her back. They are a tight group of about 5 girls, but often seperate into groups and fight amongst themselves. Girls seem to randomly pick someone to make fun or pick on that day. My question is why? Why do we allow them to act this way towards each other.  Why don't we do something to stop it? Can it be stopped?

I once heard a really heartbreaking story from a friend about a child that left the middle school that her children attend (a Christian school!). She heard about the child leaving, and was so shocked that she called the child's mother. The mother told her how the other kids were always picking on and making fun of her son. He was so miserable that they decided to pull him out. My friend was appalled, not only that this was going on at the school her kids attend, but that she had no idea that it was happening. She asked her kids if they knew about it (they are only 1 year apart) and both of them did, but denied participating in the bullying. She then asked a very important question, "Did you ever stand up for him?". Both of her children responded no. She was horrified! She told me, "I knew I needed to teach my kids not to bully, and I knew that I needed to prepare them in case they were the target of bullying. It never occurred to me to teach them what to do if someone else is being bullied."

So back to my question. How do we make this stop. Anyone who has been singled out and made fun of can attest to the fact that it is just as traumatic and humiliating as being physically bullied. I hear the phrase all the time "girls are mean". It's like we have just accepted that that is how it is. But does it have to be? Do you teach your kids that teasing and making fun of, or deliberately ignoring another child is every bit as much bullying as the physical variety?

Do you teach your kids what to do if another child is being bullied?

I am really interested in what other parents think and do about this.

another soccer mom: To work or not???

another soccer mom: To work or not???: "The question that haunts most moms! I absolutely do NOT want to work. I want to be a stay at home mom. But there's my pesky spending habit! ..."

another soccer mom: The Cell Phone Question

another soccer mom: The Cell Phone Question: "When is it appropriate for kids to get a cell phone? I have an 11 year old, and I would say that it is now approaching 50% of his class that..."

another soccer mom: Hitting and hitting back

another soccer mom: Hitting and hitting back: "So my cousin posed this question yesterday: Is it okay to teach kids to hit back when they are hit? This is what happened with her so..."

another soccer mom: Me!

another soccer mom: Me!: "Hi there! I am Courtney. I am a 35 year old part-time nurse, full-time wife and mommy. I have two amazing children, Jacob 11 and Leah 7. I h..."

The Cell Phone Question

When is it appropriate for kids to get a cell phone? I have an 11 year old, and I would say that it is now approaching 50% of his class that has one. He has my old iPhone, but it is not hooked up to a phone number, so it basically works as an iPod touch. He does have a texting app and has about 7 or 8 people he texts, most of which are family. My thoughts are more like 13 years old is appropriate, but I foresee that becoming more and more difficult as more of his friends get them. I know I tend to be conservative on these kind of things. The question is am I appropriately conservative, or ridiculously? I just frequently go back to wondering what do you give them when they are teenagers if you give them phones now? We give so much so young, what do they have left to anticipate/look forward to? What do you think is appropriate?

My facebook friends, I would appreciate you posting your comments on here instead of my FB page! It makes it better for the readers who aren't on FB. Please create a profile and post away!

Hitting and hitting back

So my cousin posed this question yesterday: Is it okay to teach kids to hit back when they are hit?

 This is what happened with her son in her words (names removed): "My son tells me a little while ago "Mom yesterday I was playing with my friend & I hurt her" He is in tears as he tells me this. "I told her I was sorry but I did leave a mark. Her mom said I'm never allowed over there again". So we had the never lay hands on someone talk (which I thought he already knew)... He does know! He's not a mean kid or a bully. I think he just forgets that she's a girl. Anyway, I texted the childs mother just to see if she knew what was up... She said yes she knew. Apparently her daughter told him she had an airhead & he punched her... Doubtful but whatever! I apologized for his actions... Her reply: "I told her she should have punched him back. I don't want her thinking that kids can just run over her. I want her to defend herself" ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! 1st they were playing a little to rough, 2nd is this what we teach our kids? Am I crazy or naive or something?! I mean kids should defend themselves but should we teach them to hit back? Isn't that just creating more problems? This is one of the IDK moments..."

My response: "Well, Idk either. I think that is one of those things that the situation dictates. If someone is being bullied, I think there comes a time when you stand up for yourself. But to blindly teach to hit back in every situation seems sorta ridiculous. I teach mine to tell someone if it's an isolated incident. However, I also teach them both that if they do hit someone, be prepared to get hit back!" 

What do you teach your kids???? 

To work or not???

The question that haunts most moms! I absolutely do NOT want to work. I want to be a stay at home mom. But there's my pesky spending habit! And I want to be able to afford to do fun things and vacations and such. Not to mention private school! So part time seems the perfect compromise right? Except it feels impossible to find the right one. I am picky. I won't lie. I have been a nurse for almost 14 years. I'm not working the crap jobs. I did that and served my time. Then there's this whole "disease" thing. It feels like I am trained in a job that I can't function in physically. Crap. My husband totally doesn't get it! To him it's a choice to work or stay home. He doesn't get it that it is a pull/need. I am supposed to be with my kids. That I am certain of. I am supposed to be there when they have something going on at school. I am supposed to have a healthy meal for them in the evening. I am supposed to be the one who gets them off the bus and does homework with them! Even if all these things sometimes drives me to drink or eat excessive chocolate! I AM THE MOMMY!!!!! It is not just what I want. It is who I am.